Ephesians 5:31 "“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife (cleave), and the two shall become one flesh.”
I believe that this was some of the best advice that Paul could have given young married couples. A man shall leave his father and mother. This man is about to be thrust on an adventure of a life time. God is forming a brand new family and He is telling His readers that this one family is now separating and becoming two independent families. Notice, I said independent families. God wasn't saying that you need to form your own family now but you will still be dependent on your parents, NO, He was telling him that they were to separate and become two families that are financially independent of one another.
This independence is critical. It doesn't mean that the child/parent love for one another wanes but it does mean that the parents need to take a back seat to their child in this new relationship. In this new family, their spouse is to be their top priority, There should never be any question of his/her fidelity to their spouse and it is important that his/her parents understand their role in stepping back also. If there comes a time when a choice must be made between parents and their spouse, the spouse must always be given top billing and this applies to both sets of parents. (The same principle holds true in couple's friendships.) In biblical times a man could not be called to war in the first year of marriage and was encouraged to take a year away from all vocational and social responsibilities to totally focus only on his new wife and their marriage. This principle is not practical in today's world as far as work is concerned; however, socially, it is a healthy start to a new marriage.
Paul commands this new couple not only to leave but to cleave as well. What does cleaving look like? The best way to describe cleaving is to take two pieces of paper and glue them together and let them dry. When you try to pull the two individual papers apart, it is impossible to separate them without having some of the other piece of paper attached to it. God wants the man and wife to literally be glued together so as to become one flesh. It doesn't mean that they individually become insignificant but it means that they now have a new perspective on life, are better together and complete each other. The pronoun "OURS" comes forth and the pronoun "MINE" is tossed away hopefully never to surface again.
This one flesh is a beautiful picture of Jesus and His bride, the church. They were meant to be together and nothing and no one can separate them, at least that is to be our prayer. This new family has joined their bank accounts, combined their separate households into one, have common friends, and made new goals. They should be given the freedom from their parents of no expectations and be allowed to make their own traditions and dream their own dreams. It is a time that boundaries should be established. Looking back on my life I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that one of the best things God has ever done in my life was to move our little family far away from both of our parents. Don't get me wrong, we love our parents; however, this distance forced us to be dependent on one another and no one else. We became closer than ever before and worked harder at making our marriage into all that God designed it to be.
If you are like me, the years have passed; however, I continue to cleave to my husband. Apart from God, he is my top priority, my very best friend, my confidant, my lover, and the one with whom I'm most comfortable with and I vice versa. If your marriage has taken on a totally different picture than what God purposed, I want to encourage you not to give up. Pray, pray, pray, and seek help from a Christian counselor or pastor. It is never too late. Marriage is a beautiful gift from God but it takes a life time of hard work, commitment and the devotion of both spouses to be intimately holding hands until death do you part.
_____________________________________
Personalize this prayer.
Dear Lord,
Your Word reminds us that ever good and perfect gift is from above and though my spouse is not perfect, I know that he/she is a gift from you. Thank you for my ____________________________. If we have let other people or other things come before each other, please forgive us. Give us the passion and will that we once had to make each other a priority. Help us to take time to get to know one another and begin anew. Please bring other godly couples into our lives that can model marriage before us and help us refocus. I know that selfishness is detrimental to all that You've designed marriage to be so I ask that You would change my heart to look like Yours and help me to love him/her unconditionally and sacrificially. I want our marriage to be all that You purposed it to be from the beginning of time.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
#left #cleft #leave #cleave #Ephesians #father #mother #wife #oneflesh #flesh #bestadvice #Paul #marriedcouples #God #brandnewfamily #formingm #readers #separating #independent #dependent #financially #independence #love #backseat #newrelationship #spouse #toppriority #fidelity #understand #tole #steppingback #choice #topbilling #principle #friendships #biblicaltimes #man #war #firstyear #marriage #vocational #social #responsibilities #focus #practical #world #healthy #commands #cleaving #paper #glue #individual #papers #impossible #separatethem #attached #Godglued #gluedtogether #insignificant #newperspectiveonlife #perspective #bettertogether #complete #ours #pronoun #mine #beautifulpict8ure #beatuiful #Jesus #bride #church #prayer #bankaccounts #households #friends #goals #freedom #parents #noexpectations #allowed #traditions #drea #dream #shadowofadoubt #family #distance #forced #closer #workedharder #designed #years #apartfromGod #top #bestfriend #confidant #lover #comfortable #pray #seekhelp #counselor #pastor #nevertoolate #giftfromGod #commitment #devotion #holdinghands #intimately #death #Word #reminds #notperfect #passion #taketime #godly #couples #model #refocus #selfishness #detrimental #changemyheart #unconditionally #sacrificially #beginningoftime